The Foggy Girl

BY Triptayan Chatterjee

That was cloud…yeah..cloud passing across the hilly ways
just like a little slow wind before my eyes. And all that i had been watching got foggy and foggy and foggy….and at last i entered into the clouds. Clouds were in and around me, i had been slowly….gradually waiting moment after moment and there coming down droplet after droplet. And for the first time in my life i saw her….really her coming..tip toeing and tip toeing towards me….from the other side of the half-visible cloud…she was alone…extremely alone!!!

I only kept on watching her…she was coming and coming.The watery curtain before my eyes got questions after questions…i would go ahead or stand on?….The apple chick face went on coming…step after step and i…i looked at the windshield. The droplets were falling upon it ….after

and after…and went on rolling down along the glass like tears…yeah…like tears….i could not get myself..i got down from my car…..and it was a lonely place…only some steps of life was at the left cliff….on a little highland….a tent was there…she was coming from there….i saw….i felt.

….Suddenly a large cloud went on passing across the way…everything got out of eyes….i got as blind who wants to eat up all the around in his blindness. I tried to get my eyes larger and larger…i tried to get my eyes flattened…and then …then i got foggy…foggy and foggy….in front of me….wrapping and kissing all the hilly way i had been gazing on….still she was coming towards me…coming towards me….came towards me…stopped near me….i saw her in a foggy evening in the deserted hilly way….lonely….extremely lonely….she stopped near me…i saw her in the foggy evening.

With a wonder in my eyes…with a wonder in my heart….with a wonder in all around…i looked at her face.
Yes…i can remember. I can remember that bamboo fencing around her small house…big window like gaps between them…i can remember the green …touchy and lively grasses on the spreaded field in front of her small wooden house…yes there was the up…up….and upheaded….mountain peak behind her small house in the horizon…and among all there were her cottage…just set wooden blocks after blocks…just a place she lives in…just her heaven…just the deep dark world in it….i got that lonely world of darkness in her small house…the green was smiling, the mountain was silent…the little home was silent and she…….sheeeeeee….
……….now i was standing in foggy evening….she looked at me and asked in a low voice
…..would you come with me?

A small point covered with clouds…it is a trifle place in the world map or google earth. Going up..up…and up again it when i came up in a height of six thousands feet i did not notice at all. I might have in the clouds and clouds. The bushes, the long trees all were covered with gushing clouds. I felt someone was there watching us….they are the clouds. They are alive i don’t know. But i feel they are there…of course very there….i got ashamed…i got scared…i don’t know…i closed my eyes and only could recall…that it was the way i was heading towards Bumthang…to shoot my films only…in the endless lap, endless silence and endless depth of the Himalayas….i again listen her asking.
………..would you come with me?
In the cooler wind in a may evening under the sky and from within the clouds…she had been asking again and again
…….would you come with me?….would you come with me?
Her words got echoed around the endless walls of the Himalayas around…

I just heard…….would you come with me?

She stopped then. I looked at her face. A cute but small smile was there. I tried and tried to read her smile. The clouds were saying around me…there must be some meaning of that…s…m……i…..l…..e. She touched my left arm, i got shivered….held my hands. Then stepped towards the trench down deep along the depth of the mountain. I went with her slowly…..no one knows…we stood there still…my god….she leaned down upon the depth…deep…deeper and deepest of the trenchhhh…..and tried to show me something there down…..i could not understand anything…i just saw a hilly stream flowing with it’s crying sound….i got my ear…i heard nothing….i got my eyes there…..i got nothing….i got my closed eyes there….i got nothing…..only i closed my eyes….a wind of her smile got me somewhere else…..i felt for the first time that i have come here to find out something…..no film, no travel, no entertainment…i have come here to look for something else…..i have to look for it….i must look for it….

I asked myself again and again…do i know her? i could not find any answer. In fact i saw in myself…actually i came for a certain job….which has a schedule, which has a budget, which has a sightseeing list. But all my pages got winded…torn…scattered within fraction of second. My watch-dial got watery…my car got invisible, my eyes got closed…i felt for the first time that i have come for something else…un-uttered…unsung and unheard. She went on hand holding me….she went on….with me…she went on…and went on and went on and at last stopped near the fencing and opened the bamboo gate…brought me in it ….we got there…we sat on the green grasses outside her wooden living…we sat in front of a new horizon…and for the first time we looked at each other closely. As if she was saying…..at last you have come with me, in fact you have come here to come with me.

……we were looking to each other…..she got me there. Then sat crossed-legs…i had my eyes on her…she was playing with her fingers. Sometimes she was looking at the horizon…sometimes to me. Sometimes she was smiling, sometimes she was playing with the grasses, sometimes she was getting her head high….spreading her hairs towards me….and then again …..again……looked at me. Her eyes got larger like a wet pond…..as she was asking me
……..Tell me, what to tell you came…please tell me, what to tell you came here

yes….i came to tell her something.
But..didn’t have any words…comma…semi-colon to run my feelings before her….I replied anyway…
‘Look down…clouds i think going away…oh! how nice here the zigzag way down the mountain!..look,how many cars and track are running there in down…look there!’

A lair of foggy wrapper just went away from before her face. But the dark fog was still there….on…and…onnn.

….She knows everything. Why shouldn’t she know? In every moment of life she lives..she walks down with me. Thousands of kilometers far from here at my bedroom…my mirror….my shaving cream…my computer room..and even at my office….she is with me….she has been living with me. Still she asked how am i now?…She asked how are my wife and kids?….She asked how much i get as salary each month…on…and….on.

Oh! so many questions at a time! I sighed at once…..and the only reply of all those questions was my ‘smile’ only…..i felt.

I felt another layer of fog was erasing from before her….on….and…on…

Spraying a little frustration she said
‘Your kids are so nice just like your wife. So costly ornaments she wears!’
I like her word. I felt myself a successful man at that moment. Yes…my wife gets costly jewellery..i have my marble floored apartment of my own…i have refrigerator, air-conditioner, internet limitless connection and a fat earning. I felt myself happy….really happy!!!!!!

She looked at my costly glasses on my eyes….looked at my wrinkle free shirt…looked at my imported watch and moved her eyes frequently along with the oscillation of my golden chain around my neck hanging there.

…….And then…just a bit sunlight of the evening came down on her apple-chick. For the first time i saw a little bit of her i had been looking for a long day.

….As much as the last redish ray of sun gotta be clear on her chick…as much she had been getting brighter to me…she went on…she didn’t stop….she went on remembering me that i am from another
universe. The universe where i live for myself and my family only…the universe where every will of life is purchased with dollars..the universe where someone ‘Gives’ and some one ‘Takes’…only. But still….the more she said…the more i got pleasure….wow….i have a nice wife!!!!!……i have a nice cellphone!!!!!….i have a nice pay-pack!!!!!

I tried to feel my eyes….my own eyes….yes…those were down upon the spiral mountain way with running car…running trucks….and standing street lamps….spreading it’s mild light over the road….and road…

….And i heard her from back like a mild wind-flow
‘Trip…would you go back by plane? did you get your return ticket?’….and she uttered again after a little pause and a cute smile…
 ‘you can go by plane…it would be lovely.’

Now…she must have been more visible….she must have been free from clouds….and certainly must have been closer to me….but i couldn’t turn back….why?….i don’t know….really i don’t know.

…..After an hard effort i could turn back to her.
….. I turned back…and…stood up slowly….but it was another wonder!!!!……i couldn’t find her…i really couldn’t find her.

Only again i heard her voice like a wind-flow….she said in a grim voice….
‘You are so happy. You have nothing to tell me. Then why did you come?..why do you spoil time this way?…Go back now…ride your car fast…. It will be cloudy again…you may loose your way back…you may loose…really you may loose…..’


I just felt that i have lost something….and what’s the way to look for the lost…i lost too. Sometimes it got me dark what i have come for here. I had been looking and looking for….and looking for. I did not not face such a unanswered question ever in my life? Is it sometimes peoples do the things they don’t know at all. what may be the cause that i have come here for. My known causes for coming here is not at all the cause i feel. But what should be the cause….what should be the hidden story of my steps on the large landscape of the Himalays….i questioned myself….i went on questioning myself….i did not know….thinking and thinking i stood up slowly….i stepped forward towards my car…standing at the side of the hilly road….just by the side of the fancing she has made with her all dreams around hers small house. I walked on….i stepped forward towards my car….i reached there.

….Within the car many eyes were were looking at me. My travelling passport lying on the sit..such as saying me…can not you remember…for how much distress you got it from the government for making a tour here? My camera was laying just on the sit under the steering wheel…..such as saying me…much snaps are left still now….you have to make your film…come on, start shooting. The blue cover of the passport and the white case of my cam……my god….my cam lens is open and….and it pointing at me passing over it’s head through the surface of the passport. Everything was so talkative!

Really i did not feel her…really not. She came to me beside the car….give a soft touch on my back. I was shivered for a while. And looked back her. Her eyes were talking….talking and talking much. And among all these surroundings she asked me in low voice
‘I know what you have come for.’
i wondered at the moment. Asked ‘means?’
She had a smile on her lips. She said ‘Do you know what’s your name?’
My god….!!!! what is she saying….has she gone made…!
I went on looking at her with my wondering eyes.
With the same mysterious smile on her lips she asked again ‘Can you write down the address of your home town correctly?’
I could not understand what to give as an answer. I tried to stop her and asked
‘Why are you asking me this questions? Why woul’n’t i know my own address or my own name? What happened to you.’
With a curious eyes again she smiled she again wondered me
‘If you would know all these correctly…you would not have come here…is not that?’
I really did not understand what did he said. I felt it the spoiling the time only to answer these questions.

I don’t know why suddenly i looked through the side glass. I noticed she is mirrored there. I looked at mysefl at the mirror. Our faces of the both were seen at the mirror. I turned my eyes on the other mirror through the windows. There was she also….and me too. Our faces were there at the same time at the same position. I turned aside on the lens of my cam….my god…!!!!! there also i am watching us both. why? My god!!!! why i can’t be alone? In every mirror of the universe i have to see her face!!!!…what a wonder….i again looked at the windshield, she……was…….also……there…….there…….there.

Yes life is a vast chapter with innumerable place. Suddenly something came into mind then and got away within a fraction of second….yes…something was coming and going away…something was coming and going away. Yes……a hazy and smoky and foggy answer was coming and going away….would i be able to answer her what i have come here for? ….it is coming….i just tried to catch it….i was prepared that if i can catch it….then i will make it more beautiful with my words and give it to her….but i couldn’t….really i couldn’t…..why i don’t know….it was a foggy evening there….i had been looking for the answer…i had been looking for the answer.



Indeed…i didn’t know…what hidden story is there in this foggy girl! Like other times with again a wonder….she came closer…and held my hands. Her hands i felt suddenly spoke up as well, but what it was…i tried and tried…again and again….and the same shame shadow was spreading in my mind…unseen…unheard…unsung….something was coming into my mind…something was coming into my mind and moving a little here and there….i tried to catch it up…but…but it slept away……

She held my hand…and pulled me with her. One after another step….she got forward towards the bamboo fencing…i was after her…she opened the bamboo gate. It felt she wants to say something again…and in the garden….that is the place only to share all the feelings….place of looking for everything she wanna get in life. I didn’t understand why i got also there in my feelings have this place when my heart wants to burst out….in fact i didn’t see this place ever before….i did not here this place ever before…still helding my hand she went on and went on….

….She stopped at last…at a corner of the field in-front of her cottage. A heap of red pine was there looking morbid in the last sun-ray of the day. The she got me sat beside her pulling my hands down. I got crippled for what i don’t know. I had to sit there….and yes…i knew she must be saying something…answer i had been looking for? i was counting the moments…the whole surrounding was calm…i was seeing her…again a cloud came over there…went on passing over us…passing …wrapping us…completely….i was eagerly waiting….i knew she will say something.


…..And among all the silence i got true.
Her lips were about to utter words…yes i don’t know why i expected sweet words from her. In a low voice she said
‘You have come here at last…how was your trip?’
‘Nice’…i only uttered in a word….thought she wants to be normal.
But he asked again ‘What nice? did you enjoy it?’
I could not reply…only i could say ‘I don’t know.’
‘Ha…ha…why you can’t say…didn’t you enjoy it? wouldn’t you come here again?’
I was still looking for the answer. On her cloudy face, i replied
‘Who says? I will be coming here again and again….i have to come.’
She got a little grim ‘Again and again…what did you get here?’
I wished to say that at least i got her. But i couldn’t say anything.
‘You have lost something…say what?’she asked.
Suddenly i wondered.
She again asked ‘Say what?’
I tried, i tried to recall….but i couldn’t find out.
She just like giving me a clue…said ‘Check your pocket.’
With a quick look i moved my hands over my pocket….and in not time i found…with a little smile i said
‘Yes…my mobile phone….and i think it’s with you now….give it to me.’
Watching me with no tension for loosing the phone she wondered. But she said
‘Yes i will…i will return it you. But what will i get for that.’
I wanted to know ‘What you want?’
She smiled ‘Nothing.’….she got the phone out of her blouse and got her hand forward to me…..
Again something started within me…something was coming…..coming and moving….coming and running here and there….oh my god! why can’t i catch it…..why?
I went to hold the phone …..and it slipped down…it slipped down upon the ground.


……And that was the moment…four eyes of us got down upon the phone
……Two hands of us gonna get down upon the phone
Cloud rushed…fogs were falling down upon the earth
Ten fingers of us touched the mobile phone…..
……Suddenly it rang up….it was an intense ring-tone…going on, going on…going on..
Both the hands picked up the phone…..
A new human i felt grew up with a moment….
In the dense cloud also we got as shadow on the mobile screen….a new human
….i felt…….his eyes were of me….his hands were of her
his hairs were as me, his nose was as her
his lip was as her….his leg was as me with the trouser

…….It was cloudy….it was cloudy evening…..with a tremendous wonder…i threw the phone to her…i turned back with extreme shivering towards the slope….i ran to the corner of slope……and bursting out the sky….tearing apart the wind…moving aside the fogs….i shouted….i shouted
………I have got what i wanted here….i have got myself…..i have got what i came here for…

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